V For Insanity
by Slave2Karma
Summary: What happens when four teens obsessed with V make it to his world? Heartbreak, drama, suspense, sex, violence, romance, rock and roll, the destruction of priceless objects, and much, much more!
1. The Vinsanity Begins…

Authors Note- Every teenage girl wants to meet V, or at least I do. So come with us on this heartfelt journey of self-discovery for four 15 year olds…and a journey of preventing them from ruining the Shadow Gallery for V. Written by Slave2Karma and MipoChici, but put under my name.

Disclaimer- If I were Alan Moore, would I honestly write something this stupid?

V FOR INSANITY: CHAPTER I

We meet our heroines gathering at their…gathering...thing.

"Everyone, I've gathered you all here together for an important meeting," began Kim.

"This is my house!" Hana bitched.

"Well, you have the nicest house. And this is where all our crazy adventures happen. Like our Inuyasha adventure, or our escaping Candyland adventure." Cocoa said.

"Well, like I said, I have called us all here for an important V for Vendetta meeting." Kim started.

Hana tackled Kim to the ground.

"HOW DARE YOU MENTION _HIS_ NAME IN MY HOME! THE WALLS HAVE BEEN TAINTED BY YOUR IGNORENCE!!!" Hana yells.

Hana takes out a can of Febreze and proceeds to spray the house.

"Hana, what is your problem? V for Vendetta is only the greatest movie of our time. Get the net," Fern nerded.

"NO FERN!!! Not you too! How many more lives, V?!? HOW MANY MORE LIVES!!" Hana said crumbling to the ground.

What a freak.

"Well…it would have been better if V lived." Kim said.

"I concur." Fern agreed.

"It would have been better if V ended up with Evey." Cocoa sighed.

"It would have been better if Evey died!" Kim yelled.

"For the last time, what has she done to you!?" cocoa yelled.

"She stole V from me!!" Kim screamed.

"I can't take the fighting!" cocoa cried.

Suddenly, Freya sprang up!

"YOU ARE ALL WRONG! A SINGLE PERSON CANNOT CAUSE THE FALL OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE! V WILL LOSE, THE CHANCELLOR WILL WIN, AND AS ALWAYS, ENGLAND SHALL PREVAIL!!!!" Freya yelled.

Freya leaned back and laughed menacingly.

Then she fell out of her chair.

"Um, Freya...the movie is over. Chancellor died." Cocoa said.

"NO! NO, YOU CAN DIE!!!!" Freya yelled.

"But..." cocoa started.

"Cocoa. Let her dream." Fern said.

"You freaks are so obsessed." Hana mumbled.

"Are not!" said Kim.

"Oh yeah? Look at what you're wearing!" Hana said.

Bathroom break! You guys take it from here.

"Lazy author-bitch slash narrator... okay, I am wearing a V for Vendetta t-shirt, a black-hoodie vest with a V on the back, baggie cargo pants, and a V for Vendetta beanie!" Fern said.

"I am wearing a V for Vendetta tank top, a pleated jean skirt, knee-high V for Vendetta socks, and the beanie!!!" Cocoa said enthusiastically.

"I am wearing a black wool dress, long black gloves, the beanie, black stockings, and black high-heels," Freya says.

Everyone stares at Freya like she's crazy.

"Honestly Freya, who wears high-heals?" Fern asked.

Freya shrugged and started eating a V for Vendetta poster that came free with the DVD.

"I am wearing a long-sleeved blue shirt and capris. Save the beanie which I am forced to wear, I hold no representation of V at all." Hana said.

"What about your shoes?" Cocoa asked.

"That's the Nike swoosh. But if it looks like a V..."

Hana takes off her shoes and burns them.

"I am wearing a black V for Vendetta shirt with V's mask on it, black pants with red V's patched on randomly, black sneakers with red V's on them, and V's cape!!! Suck on that!" Kim yelled at Cocoa.

Cocoa shed a tear.

"Okay, let's get this meeting rolling. I found a way our V for Vendetta club can go down in history." Kim said.

"Whoa, whoa...this is a club? I thought this was just a way for us to pick up guys!" Fern said.

"You don't remember?" Kim yelled.

FLASH BACK

"I'm bored." Cocoa said.

"I'm hungry." Fern said.

"I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO!!!" Kim yelled.

"Make a sandwich?!" Fern suggested.

"No." said Kim.

"Make an anti-V for Vendetta club?" Hana guessed.

"Sorta! Only this will be a pro-V for Vendetta club! One where we will be free to worship V for the god he is! A sex god!!!" Kim said.

"Kim, sexy as V is, I don't think he has earned the title of Sex God." Cocoa said sadly.

"...He will always be my Sex God."

"Kim, there are 253 V for Vendetta Clubs, 50 cults, and the People in Love or Obsessed with V's Parade to commemorate V, aka PLOV. What could we add to the scene? We don't have posters, or a cool name that unintentionally spells out a funny word, or make live goat sacrifices to appease the V Gods." Fern said.

"Boy do I miss the days of eating a still beating heart," Freya said.

"We'll have something none of them have! These matching Beanies!" Kim said, passing out beanies.

END FLASH BACK

"When was that?" Hana asked.

"Eh, five or ten minutes ago. But enough of my banter: I have found a way to do something to put us down in history." Kim said.

"You're not gonna make us do something crazy? Like the time we all tied our feet together and walked on the ledge of that twenty foot building like in the V for Vendetta comic?" Cocoa asked.

"No, no nothing like that. We're gonna blow up Parliament." Kim said.

Everyone was dead quiet.

"Would you repeat that? I had something crazy stuck in my ear." Hana said.

"No, really." Kim insisted.

"Kim has something crazy stuck in her ass." Freya said.

"Even if we were to blow up Parliament, how would we get there? I think the Pacific Ocean is kinda in the way." Hana said.

"Atlantic." Said Fern.

"Not if you go the other way."

Look, it doesn't matter what you say, I already got us tickets."

"You WHAT?" everyone screamed.

"Yeah. I got us tickets. They're in my pocket." Kim said.

"You're saying you actually got us five round-trip tickets to England?" Fern asked.

"Well, four of them are round-trip. One of them is one-way." Kim said.

"But why?" Asked Cocoa.

"DAMNIT COCOA, I CAN'T HELP IT IF YOU CAN'T KEEP UP WITH US!!!" Kim shouted.

"But… we haven't even gone yet!" Cocoa cried.

"It's too late, you've sealed your fate! Those who fall behind get left behind!!!!!" Kim yelled.

"PLEASE!!! I promise I'll run faster!!!" Cocoa begged.

"The only way you can make it now is if you tie Fern by her hair to a pole."

"You leave me outa this!"

"Fern, you think I got these tickets so you could shine? This is about V! We need to help him by blowing up government facility foreign to our own so he can have an easier time blowing up a building that doesn't exist in a world that doesn't exist!" Kim said, waving the tickets in the air.

Suddenly, Freya tackled Kim to the ground and grabbed the tickets.

"I'll never let you help V!!!" Freya said.

Then Freya ran out the door, spouting some shit about helping the Chancellor.

"Stop Her! She has the tickets!!!" Kim cried.

Nobody moved.

"Yeah, Kim…we were never really feeling this whole blow up Parliament plot…." Fern said.

Suddenly, Freya ran back inside and grabbed the V for Vendetta DVD, spouting some shit about what a rip off it was that they had to pay five more dollars for it at Suncoast because they couldn't get to Walmart and it didn't matter if it came with a free poster because it was the same picture on the cover of the movie, so why didn't we just make a big copy and glue it on the wall.

"QUICK!!! She has the source of power!!! AFTER HER!!!" Fern yelled.

Our heroines run outside after the crazy one.

"Where did she go?!?" Cocoa yelled.

"I think she went down that old abandoned subway I don't remember being there until just now," Fern called.

They all walked down the stairs.

"Okay everyone, we're looking for platform nine and three quarters!" Cocoa reminded.

"That's Harry Potter." Fern said.

"Oh. What are we looking for?" Cocoa asked.

"For Freya!!!!"

"Why did I have to come?" Hana asked. "I hate V!"

"Hana," Cocoa said, " Without V, there wouldn't even be a you!!"

"What?"

"Turn V upside down and put a slash through it! What do you get?!! An A!! AN A!!!! And there are two A's in your name!! Without V, you'd just be Hn!!!!!!!!! HN!!!"

"Yeah, but A comes before V, so V copied A!!! V's a copy cat!!!"

"Hana, if you keep talkin' smack about V, the V Gods will strike you down!" Kim warned.

"That is the stupidest thing you've ever said." Hana grouched.

Hana suddenly hit her head on a sign.

"Ow, son of a bitch!!!" Hana screamed.

"Way to go Hana, you found a sign. 'Station 5'. Hey look, there's a train!" Fern says.

"And there's a dark figure on the train! Freya!!!" Kim yelled.

"How do we know its Freya?" Hana asked.

"Well, she just fell out of her seat because she was laughing. I don't really know anyone else who does that."

……………

Suddenly, the train made a noise.

"Quick! Get on before Freya becomes less crazy!!!" Fern said.

The doors opened.

"Huh. Now that's convenient." Kim remarked as they all got onto the train.

"Where did she go? And what's with all the dynamite?" Cocoa asked.

"And why are the doors closing??!?" asked Fern.

"And why is the train moving?" asked Kim.

"AND WHY DID I HAVE TO COME?!?!" Hana cried.

Our Heroines clawed at the door as Train 5 pulled out of Station 5.

CLIFFHANGER!!!!

"WHAT?!? You can't end with a Cliffhanger!!! We haven't even met V yet!" Kim said.

Pff. Speak for yourself.

"Author…you mean you met V?!" Cocoa cried.

Met him? I have him tied up in the broom closet.

"WHAT!!!?!"

Well sorry—he was a little less than willing to be in the fanfic. But hey, you can see him if you want.

I open the closet.

"…Where is he?" Kim asked.

AW, CRAP!!! He got out again!!!! Nobody panic, I'll find him.

Author/Narrator gets out a tranquilizer gun.

You people would be surprised at how many milligrams of this it takes to knock him out.

"How much?" asked Hana.

Much more than any of you could take without suffering some sort of brain damage.

"Hey, what's that crumbled up guy in black doing on the floor?" Hana asked.

"V!!!!" Kim yelled.

He's fine.

"But he's all twitchy and he's hyperventilating…" Cocoa said.

"I think he's having a seizure."

What's that? You think we should draw glasses on his mask?

"No Author, I think he's…yeah, okay, let's draw glasses on his mask." Fern said.

Hurray!!!!!!!

* * *

Slave2Karma- Thanks for reading my fanfic!!! 

MipoChici- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean _your_ fanfic?? Share your creative control!!! Half of it is mine, too!!!

Slave2Karma- No!! I don't wanna share!!! Mine!!!

MipoChici- Common, we split the genius ness 50- 50, remember?

Slave2Karma- Fine, you can have half.

MipoChici- Hey, your half is bigger!!!! That means I get to keep more of the reviews!!

V- What makes you think anyone would review this fanfic?

Slave2Karma-…He makes a valid point.

Slave2Karma and MipoChici whisper to each other

MipoChici- Okay, if nobody leaves a review, we'll shoot V in the leg!

V- What? …Your logic seems severely flawed.

Slave2Karma- He's right again. We shouldn't blackmail our readers with the promise of shooting V. We should use it as an incentive. Leave a review, we cap V in the knee!

V- ...

Slave2Karma- Pain is entertainment, V. Did you see how many times you got shot in the movie?! so readers, leave a reveiw for the **Cap V In the Knee Fund**!!! Every review is another bullet closer!

MipoChici- We sure are smart! Don't forget to come back next time!

Thanks for reading!


	2. Wormholes, Skanks, and Junk

**Authors Note**- Welcome to chapter 2 of V for Insanity.

"Author, where the hell have you been?!" Fern demanded.

Huh?

"Why did it take you so long to write this? You said you were just going to see a movie!!!" Cocoa yelled.

Well sorrrrrrrr-y, the movie I wanted to see isn't out yet. I refuse to do anymore writing until it is.

"If you're talking about the Simpson's movie, it's out." Kim said flatly.

WHAT?! BUT BESIDES WATCHING V, ALL I'VE BEEN DOING IS WATCHING TO SEE IF THE SIMPSONS IS PLAYING!!!! HOW COULD I MISS THIS??!?!?!!?

Author/Narrator looks over at the Simpson's movie poster on the wall. V is tied up on a swivel chair next to it.

"Move your fat ass, V!" Hana yelled.

V swivels out of the way. We can now see a sign that says Now Playing.

V, you son of a bitch!!! You've been blocking it this whole time!!!! What are you smiling at, V?!? You know what?!? I'll see you after the fanfic. We're gonna crack into the **Cap V in The Knee Fund.**

Kim raises her hand. What d'ya want Kim?

"I have a question about the sex." Kim says.

…Elaborate.

"In the summary, you say there will be sex in this fanfic. Will any of this sex involve me and V?" Kim asks.

"My sincerest apologies for interrupting…but I don't believe I know you." V said from the swivel chair.

"Would you like to?" Kim asks in a sexy voice.

"Author...this is getting freaky. Make it end...Author?" Hana asked.

Author is already in the movie theater buying popcorn.

"AUTHOR!!!!!"

**V For Insanity: Chapter II **

We re-meet our heroines in darkness.

"Why is everything so dark?" Cocoa asks.

Um, I just said you're engulfed in darkness. Would it kill you to pay attention?

"But I didn't think darkness would be this dark," Cocoa whimpered.

Quit your bitching, wuss.

"Shut up, skank!"

"Kim's awake." Fern said.

Who you calling a skank?!?

"Why is everyone yelling like bitches?" asked Hana.

" Well, author is making fun of Cocoa for being a ditz, Kim woke up and started being an A-hole, and now we are trying to decide who's the bigger skank—author or Kim." Fern explained.

"Where are we, anyway?" Hana asked.

"We're still on train five. I think." Said Cocoa.

"Then where did all the dynamite go?" asked Fern.

What are you all looking at me for?

"Well, couldn't you tell us what's going on?" asked Cocoa.

Pff. You guys go look for yourself. I'm not some butt monkey that waits on you hand and foot. I have a life!

"Writing fanfics?" Kim asked.

...Screw you Kim.

"Okay moody. C'mon guys. Let's check it out." Fern said.

Our Heroines pried open the door with Ferns crowbar, then made their way into the subway. After wandering aimless through rat-infested darkness for a bit, they found a staircase leading to the surface.

"FREEDOM!!! Sweet freedom!!!" Hana cried as they got to the top.

"What the hell? Where are we??!?" yelled Fern.

Hana, Kim, Cocoa and Fern stumble into a large city with tall buildings.

"San Francisco?" Cocoa guessed.

"Since when does San Francisco have a big TV, and no lights on at night, and big speakers that say 'A YELLOW CODED CURFEW IS NOW IN SESSION'?" Asked Fern.

"There's something vaguely familiar about all this..." Kim said.

"I'm waiting on the train... hey...the subway is gone." Hana proclaimed.

Suddenly, Kim widened her eyes.

"Oh my...I hear something." Kim said.

"What?"

"It's a voice...I...I know that voice..." Kim said.

Kim started to run down the street. Fern, Hana, and Cocoa followed after her.

"And I thought Freya was the crazy one." Hana said.

"Shut up! It's coming from this way!" yelled Kim.

"What is?!?" asked Fern.

As they all approached Kim, they all started to hear a voice.

"Voilà!" said the voice " In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate..."

"I hear it!!! Is that what I think it is?!?" asked Fern.

"We're about to find out!" Said Kim as they turned into an alleyway.

All four girls stood breathless.

"It's a frigin brick wall." Cocoa said.

"Wait...listen..."

"However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition..."

"It's the other side! Quick! Around the block!!!" Kim yelled.

(One quick turn around the block later...)

Our three heroes run into a brick alleyway, huffing and puffing.

"Wait…why are there only three of us?" Fern asked.

Oh, Cocoa is still trying to get through the brick wall. Now let me finish. A familiar figure in black and a Guy Fawks mask (for you people who are a little slow, it's V) was breathing heavily and laughing.

"Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose," said V " so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

"...Are you like, a crazy person?" a girl sitting on the ground asked. (Cough, Evey you nitwits)

Before V could answer, Kim ran into him.

"V! V! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!" Kim and Fern Yelled.

V looked up quickly.

"...What..." He said like a very confused person.

"What's going on?!?" Cocoa asked from behind the brick wall.

"Holy Fucking shit!" Kim yelled. "It's you! It's really you!!!"

Kim grabbed V's shoulders and arms and started feeling him.

"You're real...I mean you're really real..."

Kim reached around and grabbed V's ass.

"OH. MY. GOD." She said walking back.

"What?" yelled Cocoa.

"...So...firm..."Kim said in awe.

Kim reached out to grab more booty. V warily stepped back.

"Kim, control yourself, please." Fern commanded.

"Fern, they told me my whole life he wasn't real. If you found out the fictional man you loved was real, wouldn't you want to feel his buttocks?" Kim asked.

"Optimus Prime doesn't have a buttocks. Burn!!!!" Hana said.

Kim hugged V and started sobbing into his chest.

"I'm...so...happy..." She wailed.

"I...I'm sorry...but who are all of you?" said V, who had finally come over the shock of being an idol among the teens.

"Well, I'm Fern." Said Fern. "I'm the smart one. The girl who's still trying to break down the wall is Cocoa, she's a spaz, that's Hana, she's stupid and she hates your guts, and the girl who is undressing you with her eyes is Kim."

"...Are you all crazy people?" asked Evey from the floor.

"Oh, and that's Evey. She's really thin and kinda a wuss." Fern added.

"How…how do you know me?" Evey asked.

"SHUT UP, SKANK!!!" Kim yelled.

"I beg your pardon?"

Suddenly, Cocoa fell from the sky and crashed right on Evey.

"Okay guys, it's not a good idea to piss off the Finger Men when they can climb fire escapes faster then you. HOLY SHIT, V!!!!" Cocoa yelled.

"…Cocoa?" Said V.

"You remember me?!" Cocoa yelled.

"WHAT THE HELL!??!?" Demanded Fern, Hana and Kim.

"Cocoa, do you mean to tell me you knew V was real the whole time?!?" Kim yelled.

"He's not real." Cocoa said.

"Yes he is! I touched his ass, remember?!" Kim cried.

"Okay…maybe I should start from the beginning." Cocoa said, rolling off of Evey.

"You see, I've been going to these V for Vendetta Science Conventions..."

"IS THAT WHERE YOU ARE EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT?!?" demanded Fern.

"No, Thursdays are the days my math teacher comes over and helps me with homework. Anyway, our founder, a scientist with head trauma came up with a theory—an infinite number of realities could exist right next to each other. Like when you hold a mirror to another mirror. "

"Wouldn't they bump into each other?" asked Evey.

"No Skank, because in each reality the other ones don't exist." said Cocoa. "Anyway, each reality does seem to have wormholes linking them together. They can be found in certain places at certain times. A toilet at one in the morning, a forest at twelve at night..."

"Interesting. How the fuck do you know V?!?" demanded Kim.

V and Cocoa look at each other.

"Now, since there would be an infinite number of realities, it would only make sense that there could be a world for every fictional story in our worlds existence. Well...last year on November the fifth, our convention found a wormhole. Nobody wanted to volunteer to test it...so I did."

**(FLASHBACK) **

One year ago (in our world time, not V's world. Time is different there.)

V is sitting in his cell at Larkhill. Suddenly, a subway staircase appears from the floor, and Cocoa walks out of it wearing a flamboyant pink flower dress.

"HI V!" Cocoa says.

V looks around.

"Are...are you speaking to me?" V asked.

"Yeah. You are V." Cocoa said happily.

"Is that my name?" V asked.

"It says so on your door." Cocoa said.

V looks thoughtfully at the floor.

"Okay. I suppose I could call myself V. what's your name?"

"I'm Cocoa."

"it's a pleasure to meet you Cocoa." said V, who stood up and shook Cocoas hand.

"So, what are you up to, V?" Cocoa asked.

"Well, I'm trying to decide a way I could combined all these gardening chemicals I've obtained in a way that would create a big enough explosion to set this whole structure on fire." V said, pointing at the chemicals.

Cocoa looked at them.

"Well, if you use those two and you find a way to get some sort of wick to soak them in and light it, then that aught to do it." Cocoa said.

"Exactly what I thought. Only trouble is I cant find a wick that would be able to sustain the acidic property of that one compound without falling apart." V said sadly.

Cocoa reached into her bag and pulled out a spool of thick yarn.

"Would this work?" she asked.

"My goodness...that's perfect! Thank you Cocoa. You have no idea how much help this is." V said happily.

"Yes I do." said Cocoa. "I have to go now, or I'll be trapped here for the next year. Good luck escaping and carrying out your vendetta."

"Thank you. Good luck with your…." V trailed off.

"Discovery at the sale at Claire's?" Cocoa suggested.

"Um...sure. Good luck with that!" V says as the subway staircase disappeared.

V looks around, then looks at the yarn in his hand.

"First abnormal development of basic kinesthesia and reflexes...and now I'm going bonkers. Brilliant. Bloody-fucking-brilliant." V mumbles as he starts to mix the chemicals again.

**(END FLASH BACK)**

"Why didn't you tell us about it?!" asked Fern.

"I did. You guys said it was a dream." Said Cocoa.

"Why weren't you more insisting?!?"

Cocoa thinks for a minute.

"I'm naturally passive, I guess. I assumed it was a dream when you told me it was."

"So," asked Fern. "You mean to tell me that the wormhole to V's world is his train?"

"I guess every November the fifth, the train materializes somewhere in our world, and takes you to some random point in V's world. What a peculiar coincidence it came right outside Hana's house, and took us to the beginning of the movie." Cocoa shrugged.

"There ARE no co-inky-dinks. This was meant to happen. Right V? …V? Where did V go?" asked Kim.

"Him and that Evey girl left while Cocoa was talking about stuff." Hana said.

"What? They left without me?!" Kim yelled.

"I think you kinda repelled them," Fern said.

"And after all I did for that man." Cocoa said.

The 1812 Overture starts to play.

"What?!? He's blowing down Old Bailey without us?!?" Fern cried.

Two Finger-Men run into the alley pointing at Cocoa.

"Look, Chuck! It's the little bitch that made that rude comment about your mum!!! And good god, look! She's killed Willy!" the Finger-Man said.

Everyone looks at the Finger-Men V beat up.

"Quick! Back up the wall!" Cocoa yelled.

* * *

Well, that be the end of Chapter Two. Thanks for reading. And now... 

Author/Narrator pulls out a gun and starts to load it.

It's time for what you've been waiting for. THE CAP V IN THE KNEE CEREMONY!!!!

"What? You can't cap V in the Knee!" Kim yells.

Sure I can. I got a gun and everything.

"Well, you could, but you won't." said Fern.

And, why is that?

"Well, look for yourself." Said Cocoa.

V, who is still tied to the swivel chair, is already swiveling away. Oh, hell no!!!

Author/Narrator shoots one of the wheels off his chair. V falls over.

"You can't just walk up and shoot V!" Cocoa said.

Well, that seems to be what I am doing. I already used up one of my three bullets. Okay, stand still V.

I start to shoot V, but suddenly, V spins the chair and slides in a circle. He kicks the gun out of my hand. He then proceeds to hook my leg with his foot and pull the chair up, push off of the wall and swivel back. He catches the gun with his hands tied around his back, and swivels in a slow circle. Kim walks up to him.

"V is the Sexiest letter of the alphabet." Kim says.

I hit V over the head with Ferns crowbar.

"DAMNIT AUTHOR!!!! WHY!!!!" Screamed Kim.

I ain't letting him escape!!! He just made his first appearance in the fanfic! He leaves now, all of us are screwed. Now someone go find a chair that doesn't swivel. Why are you all looking at me like that??!? Get a move on!!!! Chop Chop!!!

And thanks to all of you for reading this chapter, and all of you who left reviews. Don't forget to come back soon!

"Please...don't leave me here with this crazy bitch..."mumbled a concussed V.

One more word out of you V, and I'll let Kim grab your ass again. How would you like that? I could dedicate the whole next chapter to Kim fondling you. I could call it V for Violation. How would you like that? Huh?!

V is silent.

Yeah. That's what I thought. Okay readers! Until next time.

"Don't forget to leave reviews." says V.

Bye-Bye!!!!


	3. We're Bringing Vexy Back!

Welcome to chapter three! Wow. You like me! You really, truly like me!

"Author, you do understand...they are not here for you. They're here for V." Fern said.

That's a terrible thing to say Fern. What makes you think that?

"His outfit, his karate moves, his raw sexuality?" Fern suggested.

Pfff...Raw sexuality. Sure. Right.

"Author, turn around."

V is tied in a big chair connected to the floor. Cocoa, Kim, Evey, and about thirty other girls from PLOV (People in Love or Obsessed with V) are sitting on the floor in front of him.

"There are so many various connecting details, and so little is the likelihood you would notice any of them. Do I believe it coincidence? Absolutely not. Take for instance...well, Evey here. E-V. What are the chances that I would meet a girl with the name Evey the first time in twenty years I revealed myself is in it's self, questionable, but there's more—E-V. E is the fifth letter in the alphabet. Y is the twenty-fifth letter in the alphabet, five squared." V said.

"So...you're saying anything that happens is meant to happen?" asked Evey.

"Undoubtedly. Would any of you fine young women mind getting me another grey goose martini? My wallet is in my left pocket." V said.

All of the girls (including Evey, Cocoa, Fern, and Kim) start pulling each other to the ground trying to get to V first.

What the hell is the matter with all of y'all?!? Who let PLOV in?! Where is Hana?

"I'm over here!" Hana said.

Good. You aren't one of them. What are you doing?

"Well, V said he was kinda hungry...so I'm toasting him a bagel." Hana said.

WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU HATE HIM!!!!

"Well...I ...I do!! But...he was hungry...and I thought he might like this...oh god...what the hell am I doing? WHAT AM I BECOMING!!!?!" Hana yelled.

Hana drops on the floor and starts rocking back and forth.

"Author...I'm frightened..."

...Seriously, who the hell let PLOV in?

"They came when they found out V was here." Said Cocoa.

Well…damn you and your apparent raw sexuality V! Okay. Everyone who isn't V, Evey, Hana, Kim, Cocoa, or Fern—get your shit and get out!

"Why?" asked PLOV.

How am I supposed to write a fanfic with a bunch of fanatic V dorks hovering over me, hyperventilating whenever I write something with V in it!?!? Fucking weird. Get the fuck out!!!! Break it up, move it!!!! HEY, PUT V DOWN! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM WITH YOU!!!! COME BACK HERE YOU FREAKS!!!

...What are you gonna do with him, anyway?

V FOR INSANITY: CHAPTER III 

_**(The following morning)**_

A guy walks up to a dumpster and starts to put a paper plate in. Cocoa sits up.

"Breakfast in bed?" Cocoa asks.

"FINGERMEN!!!!" the guy yells running away.

"...Okay, thanks!!!" Cocoa says, taking the tin foil off her plate.

"What's going on?" Hana yawned.

"Some nice guy brought me a plate of goodies."

Cocoa starts to eat her toast with beans. She makes a funny face and spits it out.

"ARG! Someone took a crap on my toast!!!" she yells.

"They're beans, genius! It's a British thing!!!" Fern yelled.

"I dreamed about a British thing. It was connected to V..." Kim says dreamily.

"or was V coneccted to IT?" Fern asks.

"A point well made. Touché." Says Kim.

Hana starts to eat Cocoas plate of food.

"You're eating dumpster food?" asked Kim.

"It's part of the experience. Like, look at Cocoas eye cover. She found that here."

"That's a dead ferret."

"HOLY SHIT!" Cocoa yelled, throwing the ferret. The ferret squeaked.

"It's a live ferret! I'm keeping him!" yelled Hana.

"Great. Now you're just like Paris Hilton, only you eat out of dumpsters." Fern says.

"Doesn't Paris do that too? BURN!" yelled Cocoa.

"Okay, guys. Let's get out of this dumpster and go find V." said Kim.

"Maybe you weren't paying attention, but those two Finger-Men think we killed Willy. And Cocoa called their mum's a rude word." Said Hana.

"Well, guess what? After today, V's face will be everywhere. His symbol will be everywhere. Look at what we're wearing!! People are gonna assume we're part of his terrorist organization. We were even on the surveillance tape they're going over right now! If we can't find V, they'll black bag us by tomorrow." Said Fern.

"I hate V. Him and his big words, and his wanna-be moves, and his ugly mask, and his boring movie with no hot guys in it...hey, where are all you going???" Hana asked.

"Jordan Tower. That's where V is going. Now hurry up, before Cocoa offends some other figure of authority." Yelled Fern.

_**(Later at Jordan Tower)**_

"Well, wait until a commercial to set them off." Fred the security guard said, looking at the TV.

"I can't believe you watch that shit." Evey says.

"What? Laser Lass is banging. Oh, I almost forgot, your cousins from Essex are here." Fred said.

"What?" Evey asked.

"Your four cousins. They said you were going to try to hook 'em up with an internship or something of the sort. I set 'em up in the lobby with some résumés. One of them said to tell you '_What up, Skank'_? She said you would know what it means." Fred said.

"Oh... um...well alright. I'll go talk to them." Evey said, wheeling the boxes into the lobby.

"What are all of you doing here?!" Evey asked.

"Stealing pens from the filing cabinet." said Fern.

"Oh...well, the good ones are in the top drawer...wait, how did you know I worked here?!" Evey demanded.

"From the movie." Fern replied.

"What on Earth are you talking about?"

Kim walks over to Evey and slaps here.

"You bitch. You left with V last night." Kim said.

"Can you keep your voice down?! Have you any idea what they would do to us if they found out we were involved? Now, I'm pretending it never happened, and I suggest you all do the same. " Evey said, wheeling the boxes away.

Our heroines follow after her.

"They already know you're involved, and the fuzz is already coming for you." Kim said.

"All of you go home. I have a job to do." Evey said as she walked into the costume room.

"Delivering a box of V's masks to the costume room?"

"What's all of this? And who are all these girls?" said a bitchy lady who's name wasn't mentioned in the movie.

"They...they're my cousins. These just arrived. Marked to stage three." Evey said.

"Must be Prothero. I wish someone had the balls to tell that prat this station ain't his play ground—what the hell is this?"

The bitchy lady pulled out a Guy Fawks mask.

"Put them over there until I figure out what they're for." The lady said, walking away.

Evey looked at Fern.

"How did you know what the boxes were?" she asked.

"Guys...it's happening..." said Cocoa.

"What? What's happening?" Hana asked.

"I don't know what's going on, but I think I should go," Evey said.

Evey walked out of the costume room. Our heroines follow after her.

Suddenly, the fire alarm went off. A shit load of people started walking through the halls.

"Everyone link hands!" Cocoa cried.

"Fern, what happened at this part?" Hana asked.

"Well, Finch is trying to get to Evey, but he can't through all the people. Then Evey ducks into a room, hides there, and listens to V's speech. We just have to do that. Everyone here on a count of five?" Fern asked.

"Here." Said Hana.

"...Here, I suppose." Said Evey.

"Present!" said Cocoa.

"Kim? Where's Kim?" Fern asked.

"She's right here. I'm holding her hand." Cocoa said.

Cocoa turned around to confirm. Instead of holding Kim's hand, she was holding Finch's.

"ACK! It's FINCH!!!" Cocoa yelled.

Cocoa kicked Finch in the nuts.

"Quick! Lets find that room!" yelled Fern.

"What about Kim? Where is she?!?" asked Cocoa.

"To hell with Kim! She can take care of herself!!!"

_**(Stage three of Jordan Tower...)**_

The dvd with V's speech has just started playing. V is tying everyone's hands and putting the masks and capes on them. V walks up to a girl and starts to tie her hands behind her back.

"I'm terribly sorry about this inconvenience, but pray you understand that in the grand scheme of things, the actions I am taking are necessary." V said.

"And I pray you understand I want to make love to you until you see a whole different set of fireworks." The girl said.

V stopped tying her hands and turned the girl around. It was Kim, as you probably already guessed.

"What...how?!!" V stuttered.

"Speechless? You should have known I would find you." Kim said.

V took a moment to compose himself. People were starting to watch him and Kim. V went behind her and whispered in her ear.

"Listen. I'm going to pretend to tie your hands so no one watching suspects anything. Just move along quickly, and stay close to me." V says.

V starts to tie Kim's hands. He stops and moves back.

"I can just tie your hands for real, you know." he says sounding unnerved.

"That will only work to my advantage," Kim said naughtily.

Noises started to come from the door. V walks over to the smoke machine and turns it on.

Okay, I'm gonna stop it right here for a tic and explain something. In order for this fanfic to stay a certain length and to avoid getting carpal tunnel syndrome, certain parts of the story will be edited down. So, because Kim being here does not effect the rest of this scene (the one with everyone dressed up as V and the whole fight thing with the hair flippy at the end), I'm gonna skip to the end of it.

"You lazy bitch." Kim said.

YOU KNOW WHAT?! YOU'RE THE LAZY BITCH!!! IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED, GET OFF YOUR OWN FAT ASS AND GO WATCH THE MOVIE OVER. OR GO TO YOUTUBE. I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

"Okay, okay." Says Kim.

Glad I have your approval. Now, back to the story…

_**(A few ass-kickingly-awesome moments later…)**_

V walks past Fred the Security Guard and he faints. Kim pokes her head out from behind the door of stage three and runs out.

"That was fucken awesome. How many times did you think that guy got shot?" Kim said.

"Keep moving." V said.

"Does the expression '_stop to smell the roses'_ mean anything to you?" Kim asks.

"No." V said simply.

"Yeah. Me neither. Hey…wait a minute…I don't think we should be going this way…"

"Why's that?" V asks.

Dominic walks out from behind them and points a gun at them.

"Put your hands on your head. Both of you."

"Yep, that was it," Kim said.

_**(MEANWHILE…)**_

"Fern, where the hell are we?"

"We're on fifty first floor." Fern said.

"This building only has forty eight floors." Evey said.

"Yeah. I know. I'm totally lost. Where are we?" Fern asks.

"If we keep going this way, we can make it through to the back exit and slip out." Evey said.

"Well, what about V and Kim?" Cocoa asks.

"Don't worry. If we just follow Evey, she'll lead us to them."

"For the last time, I don't know where V is!!!" Evey said.

Our heroes turn a corner and find Dominic has cornered V and Kim.

"I must say, I'm astonished at the response time of London's finest. I hadn't expected you to be so…Johnny-on-the-spot." V said.

"We were here before you got started. Bad luck sonny."

"Boy, you wanna go, let's go!!!!! I got a black belt in karate, and I will FUCK YOU UP!!! DROP THE GUN!!! C'mon. Fight me!!!" Kim yells.

"I told you, put your hands on your head!!!"

"I'll put my foot up your ass!" Kim said.

V looks over at Kim.

"…He does have a gun, you know." V said.

"Both of you, down on your knees!!!! Your times run up." Dominic said.

Evey walks up behind Dominic.

"Oh, I don't know about that." V says.

Evey taps Dominic on the shoulder and maces him. Dominic smacks Evey across the head with his gun.

"You son of a bitch!!!" Fern yells.

Kim spin kicks Dominic across the face. Fern jumps on his back and starts choking him. Cocoa starts biting his hand.

V watches as Dominic runs blindly into a wall. Fern and Cocoa both hit their heads.

Hana walks up to V.

"Okay, look, I may not get another chance to do this, so…"

Hana steps down really, really hard on V's foot.

"SON OF A BITCH!!!" V yells.

V yanks his foot back, causing Hana to trip and hit her head on the floor. V looks around to see that through (almost) no actions of his own, everyone has been knocked out except for Kim, who is still kicking Dominic. V walks up behind her.

"Nobody…fucks…with…V...while…I'm…around!!!!!!!" Kim screams.

"I think that's enough." V says.

"What's that? You think I should kick him lower?!" Kim yells.

"There's no need for extreme violence. He's down." V said.

"I think you should listen to him…" Dominic moaned.

"I think you need to go to hell!!!"

Kim starts kicking Dominic again. V sighs to himself, and pinches Kim on the shoulder.

"…Wha…?" Kim mumbles.

Kim passes out.

* * *

Well, that about wraps it up for chapter three. While all you people read that, I broke into PLOV headquarters, got V back, sent three members of PLOV to the ER, stole their fish tank, stole a swivel chair from OfficeMax and had it chained to the floor and tied V to that, changed the locks, got arrested for breaking and entering and assault, got sent to jail, and got bailed out. That's a shit load to live down in one day. I miss anything good? 

"Eh, not really. We did beat the shit out of Dominic and Kim grabbed V's package." Cocoa said.

How remotely not interesting. Where's Hana?

"She's still freaking out because she made V a bagel." Said Fern.

Hana is rocking back and forth.

"What's your name? My name is Ha-na. It rhymes with ha-ha. That's a pretty name. Do you know V Ha-Na? Yes. I hate him. Me too. I HATE HIM MORE. No you don't, you made him a bagel. Shut up. No you shut up. NO YOU!!!"

Hana pulls out a pair of scissors and starts cutting her hair out.

Whatever. She looks fine to me.

Hana starts smearing lip-gloss all over her face.

"Cry me a river, cry me a river…A RIVER OF BLOOD!!!" Hana sings.

"Aren't you going to do something, author?" Fern asked.

Fern, you are absolutely right!

I swivel V over to Hana.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Hana screams.

I swivel V around.

"Where…where did he go?" Hana asked.

I swivel V in a really fast circle.

"AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!….AHHHHHH!!!!!…AHHHHH!!!!…AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Hana screamed.

"Author, isn't this a bit cruel?" Fern asked.

Whatever. She'll get over it.

Hana is rolling back and forth on the floor and speaking in tongues.

"I don't see that happening." Fern said.

Hey Hana, guess what!?! I stole the fish tank from the lobby at PLOV!!!!!

Hana jumps up.

"The one with the sea horses?!?!? FRIGIN SWEET!!!" Hana yells.

Hana runs over to go play with the fish tank.

See? And the best part is nobody got hurt. Right V?

V is leaning over in his seat.

"I…I don't feel so well…"

V throws up into his mask.

"DAMNIT AUTHOR!!!! We should have just left V at PLOV!!! At least there, you couldn't hurt him!!!!!" Kim yells.

"But if he were there, then he wouldn't be near you." Cocoa said.

"…I'm willing to sacrifice myself for V." Kim says.

"Aw. That's so noble."

Touching music starts playing.

Whoa, whoa ,whoa! Noble? Nobility ain't worth two craps in this fanfic!!! You know what I did to V when he was passed out?! I took his mask and I spit in it!!! Anyway, cut this touching music crap!!! What song is this anyway?

"Wow I Can Get Sexual Too by Say Anything."

…

Granted, that is touching music, but not in the context I thought you were using it.

"I'm sorry. It's impossible for me to have a pure thought when V is in the room!" Kim admitted.

DAMNIT V!!! Stop using your raw sexuality!!!! It brings nothing but Cult fan girls, sexy songs, and trouble!!!!!!

"Forgive me. I was unaware I was doing anything." V said.

AW! You're so polite and nice!!! Wait. Wait a minute…son of a bitch, you're using it on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Oh…am I now?" V asked.

STOP!!! Stop it!!!!

I reach into the PLOV fish tank and pull out a replica Hawaiian lava rock and throw it at V and knock him out of the chair.

"Good Shot!!!" Hana yells.

Fern goes up and takes V's pulse.

"Well, you knocked him out again." Fern says.

"DAMN YOU AUTHOR!!!!" Kim screams.

Whoa…whoops. Huh. Who would have thought a lump of concrete painted to look like lava would knock out a grown man if you crack it into his head?

"So…what do we do now?" Hana asks.

Well, I guess the only thing we can do is end the chapter. Sorry about that, readers. Hopefully when you all come back, V'll be conscious again.

"I hope so." Kim said.

"You'd think constantly getting knocked out would result in some sort of weird physical effect on V's health." Fern said.

"You mean like that weird, twitchy thing V does with his leg?" Cocoa asked.

"V does a weird, twitchy thing with his leg?" Kim asked.

"Yeah."

Kim sits down in front of V.

"My winter break just got booked solid." Kim drooled.

Wow, you guys are freaks. Well, please leave reviews everyone! And enjoy your winter break as well!!!

"I know I'll be enjoying mine." Yells Kim.

See ya later!!!!


	4. The Shadow Gallery At LAST!

Author, Cocoa, and V walk into the room.

"HEY EVERYBODY!!" Cocoa yelled.

"What the hell?!" Hana screamed.

"V? Oh my god! V! You're really back!! You're really here!!" Kim said.

Kim reaches out to grab some V booty, but V takes a step back.

"I'd prefer if you didn't…," V said.

"What the hell, Author?! Where have you been?! You haven't updated for months!" Fern demanded.

For you information Fern, V only got out of the hospital yesterday.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was V doing in the hospital??" Kim asked.

I'm glad you asked that, Kim. You see, over the course of the fanfic, I've hit V on the head a lot with many different things. Replica Hawaiian lava rocks, crowbars, baseball bats, human skulls, umbrellas, pirated dvds with segments of the new Watchmen movie, my Honda…

"You hit him with your Honda?" Hana asked.

You remember when he escaped last month? He only got as far as the parking lot before I cut him off. Anyway, it turns out every time I hit him I was hitting him in the exact same place on his head and it gave him a brain aneurysm.

"V had to have a brain operation!" Cocoa said.

"Uh-huh. So why the hell did you take Neil Armstrong with you instead of me?!" Kim demanded.

"Why do you keep calling me Neil Armstrong?!" Cocoa cried.

"Well, because you're spacey." V said.

"V, you are the first person to get that joke! That is why I love you, you're so smart!" Kim said.

"Why _did_ you take Cocoa, Author? You know I'm the one who wants to go into medicine." Asked Fern.

Because Cocoa's the funniest one. She's so nice and spazy and when you get her really confused she starts calling everyone's mom a whore. Also Fern, I've told you before you won't be a doctor. You're to eat raw cookie dough, alienate any boy who shows any interest in you, and write Naruto and Twilight fanfiction.

"Damnit Author! I don't want to live your life!!" Fern screams.

….Ow.

"That was pretty harsh, Fern." Hana says.

"I agree." said V.

"Can we save the theatrics until the end and get this fanfic started?" Kim demanded.

Fine.

**V FOR INSANITY: CHAPTER 4!!**

We meet Dominic and Finch in a room, having just gone over the surveillance tape. Finch looks at Dominic.

"Those girls really beat the shit out of you." Finch remarked.

"Shut up. One of them kicked you."

"Look at this still frame. He's thinking if he should leave them after they just saved him. And beat the shit out of you." Finch added.

"He's a terrorist. You can't expect him to think about things like you or me. And stop saying those four girls beat the shit out of me!" Dominic bitched.

"Well, looks like for better or worse…he's stuck with them." Finch said.

**AT THE SHADOW GALLERY…**

We meet our heroes surrounded by darkness.

"Oh, great!!" Hana yelled. "We've been taken to a world where we're stuck in a perpetual loop of going back to the second chapter, and I'll have to relive meeting V over and over and,"—

I was GOING to say you surrounded by darkness in a room filled with books.

"It's worse than I thought!" Hana screamed. "I'm in a world where V took me home and I'll progress further into the movie timeline, probably altering slight things but initially keeping the basic plot the same! And I'll be trapped here until the stupid author exhausts all possible parts of the story that any humor could be milked out of!!"

…Wow, Hana. It's almost as if you know.

"What's going on?" Fern asked.

"I hope you're happy Fern. This is all your fault. If you didn't take us to that anime convention in the fourth grade, we never would have met Kim, and she would never have made us watch V for Vendetta, and we wouldn't be here." Hana said.

"You know, I actually saw V for Vendetta before Kim. She was boycotting it for the first week because Alan Moore disowned it." Fern said.

Whoa, Alan Moore disowned it?

"Yes. Because the movie people ruined League of Extraordinary Gentlemen."

Well, I do admit Extraordinary Gentlemen wasn't top notch, but disowning V? I mean, V for Vendetta was a great adaptation! It's up there with Sin City and The Crow and, um…Transformers.

"I think Alan Moore wanted it to be more like the graphic novel." Fern said.

You know I tried reading the graphic novel, and I could not get into it.

"Well, most people who see the movie first are gonna like the movie better,"—

"OH MY GOD, WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE YOU TWO SHUT UP?!" Hana screamed.

"Ow…where am I?" Evey yawned.

"Oh cool. Evey. I forgot all about you. Hey, where's Kim?" Fern asked.

"Evey knocked me off the bed in her sleep with her long legs, and now I'm stuck on the floor because I got all tangled up in the blanket and my foot fell asleep." Kim said cheerfully.

"You seem to be taking it well." Fern remarked.

"Oh, Fern. Nothing can dampen my mood. I'm in the Shadow Gallery. At least I think I am. We went on a train and got taken to a world where V is real, right?"

"Right-O." says Fern.

"Great. Now that my suspicions are confirmed that this is indeed V's blanket, It won't be creepy if I do this."

Kim pulls the blanket up to her face and inhales and makes a creepy Hannibal Lecter noise that Hannibal used when he was talking about people liver.

"No Kim. It's still pretty creepy." Fern said.

"I don't care. It smells _sooooo _good." Kim mumbled.

"Wasn't there another girl with you?" asked Evey.

"Cocoa!! What happened to Cocoa?!"

"I'm behind this wall of books!" Cocoa called.

"How did you get back there?" asked Hana.

"I dropped my cellphone behind it."

"How did you DROP your cellphone behind it?" asked Kim.

"Idunno. I woke up and it was ringing, and I followed the rings." said Cocoa.

"Whatever. We're gonna go find V." Kim said.

"WAIT!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!"

**IN THE OUTER AREA OF THE SHADOW GALLERY…**

Our Heroes and Evey walk up to the jukebox. Evey turns around and sees V.

"OH! You scared me." She says.

"My apologies." V says.

"You didn't scare me."

V turns around slowly, and sees that Kim is standing very close to him.

"Did I frighten you?" Kim asks.

"…No." V says.

"Do you want me to?" Kim offered.

"Kim, for the love of Frank Miller, show some restraint!" Fern nerded.

"I am, believe me. This whole situation would be way more kinky if my foot wasn't still asleep." Kim said.

"Um…what is this place?" Evey asked.

"It's my home,"—

"He calls it the Shadow Gallery." Fern said.

"I probably would have given it a name that implied sexual innuendo, like The Jungle or Tornado Alley. V, which way is your bedroom?" Kim asked.

V silently pointed down the hall.

"Okay. Your bedrooms new name is Tornado Alley." Kim declared.

"Um, I don't mean to interrupt, but…where did you get all this stuff?" Evey asked, looking at the paintings.

"He stole it." Hana said.

"You stole it?!" Evey asked.

"They were confiscated from civilians and museums by the government. Stealing implies ownership. You can't steal from the censor, I merely reclaimed them." V argued.

" God, if they ever find this place…" Evey said.

"The only way they could find this place is if they followed your whiney voice, ya fucken English-muffin." Kim said.

"I beg your pardon?!" Evey said.

"Don't act so innocent, Evey. You know why you're here." Fern yawned.

"The detective hit me…Oh god. I maced that detective." Evey remembered.

"Big deal. I probably gave him testicular disproportion." Said Kim.

"I must have been out of my mind…" Evey said.

"Is that what you think, or is that what they'd want you to think?" V asked.

"I…I think I should go." Evey said.

Evey started to walk away.

"Evey, if they know where you work, don't you think they would know where you live?" Fern asked.

"I've got friends, I could stay with them." Evey argued.

"I'm afraid that won't work. I didn't want this for any of us, but you were unconscious, and I had to make a decision. I couldn't leave you after what you did. So I took you to the only place I knew you'd be safe." V said.

"I would have left you." Kim said.

"Here's a question." Hana said. "How the hell did V carry all of us here? Especially with Miss I-Eat-Panda-Express-For-Every-Meal-Of-The-Day!"

"I like restaurants with a little culture!" Fern cried. "Is that so wrong?!"

"There's more culture in a burrito from Taco Bell. And more flavor."

"I won't tell anyone, V. You know you can trust me. I…I don't even know where we are right now!" Evey insisted.

"You know we're underground, you know the color of the stone." V pointed out.

"Not me. I'm colorblind." Kim said.

Kim started to fondle V.

"WHOA, what am I touching?! Is this that stone you were talking about, V?" Kim asked.

"Colorblind means you see in black and white, Kim." Fern said.

"OH, NO! Now I'm blind, and I'm deaf!! V, you'll have to be my eyes! Quick, guide me to Tornado Alley!" Kim said.

V takes a step back, and Kim falls flat on her face.

"Okay, I deserved that." Kim said.

"So what are you saying, V? We all have to stay here?!" Evey asked.

"Only until the fifth. After that I don't think it will matter." V remarked.

"You mean a year from now? I have to stay here for a year?"

" I'm sorry Evey. I didn't know what else to do." V said.

"You should have left me alone. Why didn't you just leave me alone?!" Evey yelled, running away.

Everyone was silent for a moment.

"What a little bitch." Kim said.

" I know!" Fern agreed.

V looked at Hana, Fern, and Kim.

"You're all taking this relatively well." V noted.

"Well, Hana is too stupid to get angry, Kim wants to hump-hump your brains out, and I think you're frigin sexy cool." Fern says.

"…But you don't want to hump-hump my brains out?" V clarified.

"We're open to it," Cocoa said. "But there is a fine line between being a fanatic and general creepy-ness."

"Yes, I'm a super-freak, I've come to terms with it. Hey, Cocoa, how did you get here?" Kim said.

"I had to climb over the wall of books, thank you very much for helping." Cocoa said.

"Did you find your cell phone?"

"Um, yeah."

"Good. Call someone who gives a rat's ass about your problems." Kim said.

"Okay, Cocoa!" Hana said. "For one minute, forget that your crazy and try to think of something!!"

"Sure. Like what?"

"Like something from the V for Vendetta Science Conventions!! When does the next train come that will take us home??" Hana demanded.

"The next train? It comes on November the fifth."

"You mean I have to stay here for a whole year?!" Hana screamed.

Hana turned to V.

"You should have left me alone! God-damn fruity cape wearing son of a whore!"

Hana ran out of the room and slammed the door.

"Huh. I guess she wasn't too stupid to get mad." Fern said.

V glanced back at Fern.

"Does she know she just ran into my closet?" V asked.

"OH MY GOD!!" Hana screamed. "THERE ARE SO MANY V MASKS! AND THEY'RE ALL TOUCHING ME!! OH MY GOD, ONE OF THEM IS MOVING!! WHY WON'T THE DOOR UNLOCK!? HELP ME!!"

"You know V, from behind the locked door, Hana's deluded screams of claustrophobia and paranoia almost sound like smooth, sexy R&B." Kim said coyly.

"It's coming from the jukebox." V pointed out.

"Hell yeah it is! Kim, did you know V's got the songs Brick House and Baby Got Back on this thing?" Cocoa asked.

"Oh my god. We are totally staying up all night long and dancing only to those two songs over and over until one of us breaks something of value!" Kim said.

"…This is going to be a very peculiar year." V said to himself.

* * *

"You know, compared to the past, this chapter was pretty mellow." Cocoa said.

"I can't complain. We finally got into the shadow Gallery. Took you long enough, Author!!" Kim said.

Why can't all of you shut the hell up and let me eat my cookie dough in peace?

"Whoa Author. What's up your caboodle?" Hana asked.

I'll tell you what. I just got V's hospital bill back and it's so expensive I can't fix the dent V left in my Honda.

"You know, I think you exhausted that guilt trip during the five months I was in rehab." V said.

Shut up, V. if you hadn't have been wearing your stupid bulletproof mask, it wouldn't have left such a pronounced imprint of Guy Fawkes' face in my hood. Now it's like I'm driving V's getaway car. Yeah, not a good match on a green Honda.

"Well forgive me for not being able to turn my head around while you're ramming me at sixty miles an hour. And I think Cocoa is partially to blame for the visibility of the dent in your car." V said.

"Listening to you two bitch in the hospital all day gets old." Cocoa said.

"Does that really justify coloring in the imprint with nail polish?" V asked.

"V, I swear, it looks just like you! If you didn't have a mustache and were Michael Jackson. I would have put the mustache, too. But Freya took all my black nail polish."

"Hey, what ever happened to Freya?" Hana asked.

Oh, you'll find out… _eventually._

"Uh-oh. Well, end this chapter and get on with it!" Fern said.

Hold on. I'm still trying to think of a way to knock V out without undoing his stitches. GOT IT! Chloroform!!

I take some Chloroform, put it on a napkin, and put it on V's mask.

"Author, he just got out of the hospital! Is it really necessary?!" Kim asked.

It's weird, I know. Every time I leave V alone I need to knock him out, or I'll be worried he'll escape the fanfic. Why the hell isn't this chloroform working? Pass out, damnit!!

"You do know I have an air filter in the mouth of my mask." V said.

Wow. That's called being prepared. You probably should have got that for your eyes.

I take the bottle of Chloroform and poor it down V's eyehole. V screams, chokes, gags, and passes out.

"Author, you're only supposed to give someone a little bit of that stuff. That much could kill him! And you poured it down his eyehole, you probably blinded him!! You're out of control!!" Kim yelled.

Well, since I used all the chloroform on V, I guess I could give you these pictures. They're of the incision the doctor had to make in V's head during the surgery. Except that one. That's a picture of his leg after they re-attached it from when I ran him over.

"GIVE THEM TO ME!!"

Kim starts inhaling the pictures and doing the creepy Hannibal Lecter thing.

"Kim, I know you're an eccentric fanatic, but that is just WRONG!" Fern said.

"Good point. The real V is right here!" Kim said.

Okay…I'm gonna end this chapter before Kim does anything that could be followed by a sexual harassment lawsuit.

"Too late." Kim said.

Oh, God. Well, see you all later! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! But for your sake…I hope you didn't enjoy it as much as Kim.

See ya!!


	5. Remember, Remember the 5th Chapter

Okay, I'm back in the fanfic. Now which one of you whiny little bitches texted me forty-two times demanding I come back?!?!? What was so important it couldn't wait until after The Colbert Report!?!?!

"To our credit Author, It shouldn't take you forty two text messages to get you to come to this stupid fanfic." Fern said.

…Did you just call this fanfic stupid? Let me tell you something, Fern. Just because a fanfic is classified as humor does not automatically make it unintelligent. I mean yeah, the whole annoying teens go into a movie world is a frequently used plot device for a random fanfic, but who the hell said that a fanfic has to be judged prematurely based on its setup? It is possible for a story to be a comedy without stepping over the boundaries that mark it ridicules. Jesus Christ! Now, why did you guys call me back here?

Everyone looks at each other silently.

"Kim keeps touching me." V said.

"…In _places_." Cocoa added.

…Kim, is this true?

"What, I can't give V a friendly pat on the ass—I mean back?" Kim asked.

V, how does it make you feel when she does that?

"Uncomfortable." V said.

Kim, I think it's time you keep your hands to yourself.

"Dully noted." Kim said.

**V FOR INSANITY: CHAPTER 5**

_(The following morning…)_

V is cooking in the kitchen when Evey walks through the door.

"Ah. Bonjour Mademoiselle." V said.

"V…I wanted to apologize for the way I acted last night." Evey said. "I understand what you did and I am grateful…"

Suddenly Kim, Fern, and Cocoa walk into the room behind Evey.

"We too would also like to apologize for the way we acted last night." Fern said.

"Yes, V." Cocoa said. "It was extremely inappropriate for us to stay up until three in the morning and break that vase and then eat all your chunky peanut butter."

"…I don't have any peanut butter." V said.

Fern, Evey, and Kim look back at Cocoa.

"Whoa. Twilight Zone moment!" Cocoa said.

"YEAH COCOA! Because following a psycho Goth girl onto a train and being teleported into a movie that everyone loves except me is TOTALLY normal compared to eating imaginary peanut butter!!!" Hana yelled from outside the door.

"Hana, quit being such a little bitch and come inside for breakfast." Kim yelled.

"NO! I don't want to be in the same room as him!!!" Hana yelled.

"And to my credit," Cocoa added. "It WAS NOT imaginary peanut butter. It just _wasn't_ peanut butter."

Evey stares at Cocoa…and then looks back at V.

"Anyway, V. There was something I wanted to ask you…"Evey trailed off as she saw V's exposed hands. "V…your hands."

"Oh, right." V said quickly.

V turned around to put on his gloves.

"Way to go in there and make it all awkward for all of us, Evey." Kim said.

"I didn't mean to, it's just…are you alright, V?" Evey asked.

"Oh, yes. I'm fine." V said.

"Can I ask what happened?" Evey asked.

"He was in a fire a long time ago." Cocoa said.

"Ancient history for some…but not a very good table conversation." V completed.

Kim elbowed Evey in the ribs.

"You think you're so perfect you can make digs at peoples physical flaws? What about that giant, crusty, disgusting scar you got from when Dominic hit you with his gun? We never bring that up."

"You came into the room at one in the morning and drew stitch marks over it with a sharpie." Evey said.

"I did no such thing!" Kim said.

"You've got sharpie ink all over your hands," Cocoa said.

"I'd hate to interrupt," V said. "But would anyone like any tea with their breakfast?"

"I WANT TEA WITH MY BREAKFAST!!!" Hana called from outside the door.

V picked up a plate and a cup of tea and handed it to Cocoa.

"Would you pass this to Hana?" He asked.

Cocoa went to deliver Hana's breakfast while V set the table.

"My god…I haven't had real butter since I was a little girl." Evey said.

"I haven't had real peanut butter since I was a little girl, apparently." Cocoa said.

"Where did you get this, V?" Evey asked.

"A government supply train, on it's way to Chancellor Sutler." V said.

"You stole this from Chancellor Sutler?" Evey coughed. "You're insane!"

"I ALSO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS FOOD!!!" Hana called from outside.

"What the hell do you want now?" Fern called.

"I can't eat this. I'm allergic to toast!" Hana yelled.

"Hana, I've see you eat sandwiches at school all the time." Fern said.

"I'm not allergic to bread, I'm allergic to toast!"

Hana threw the plate back into the kitchen.

"MAKE IT AGAIN, BUT WITH BREAD THIS TIME!" Hana demanded.

Kim got up and slammed the door shut.

"Hey!!! You can't just slam the door in my face like that! I'm still hungry!!!" Hana yelled.

"You've got tea, don' t you?" Kim asked.

"It's too hot!!!" Hana said.

Kim opened the door and slammed it into Hana's face.

"OW!!! YOU ASSHOLE!!! You made me spill hot tea in my mouth!!! IT'S LIKE A MILLION SHARP KNIVES CUTTING APART MY TONGUE!" Hana screamed.

"Um…V?" Evey asked. "I wanted to ask you about what you said on the telly. Did you mean all of it?"

"Every word." V said.

"You really think blowing up Parliament will make this a better country?"

"A building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Alone, a symbol can be meaningless, but with people behind it…it can change the world." V said.

"You can be certain that if anyone does she up, Creedy will black bag every one of them." Evey said.

"There is no certainty." V said. "Only opportunity."

Evey finished her food and got up.

"I wish I could believe that," she said. "But every time I've seen this country change, it's always been for the worse."

Evey turned and started to open the door.

"OH MY GOD!!!" Hana screamed from outside. "WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP KNOCKING HOT TEA IN MY FACE!?!?"

Hana ran inside and dunked her head in the sink.

"Uhhh…I'm sorry." Evey mumbled on her way out.

"It's no use fighting it." Hana realized. "I'm going to go crazy before we get back to our world."

"Speaking of which…" V said, "I think we need to have a little conversation concerning our current predicament."

Kim kicked out a chair.

"Park it there, sexy thang." she said.

V sat down and folded his arms.

"I am by no means a close minded person…but even I must admit that your presence here is nothing of the ordinary." V began. "I have some questions that have yet to be answered."

"Shoot." said Fern.

"If I understand you correctly, the relation between your world and mine is that mine is a movie within yours?" V asked.

"Gigity-gigity?" Kim said suggestively.

"Best movie ever." Fern sighed.

" If by best movie you mean best movie that makes you bleed from your eyes out of boredom…"

"Shut up Hana." Kim demanded.

"You seem to know the movie well, and that is why I must ask you to try—to the best of your abilities—not to change anything." V said.

"…What!?" Hana, Kim, Cocoa, and Fern asked together.

" I do not believe in, —" V began.

"OH! OH! I know this quote!" Cocoa yelled. "Um…there are no…um…damnit, what's the word….Co-inky-dinks!!!"

"I beg your pardon?" V asked.

"Cocoa can't pronounce coincidence," Fern explained.

"There are no such thing as coincidences. The mere fact that you are here and hold me on such a high pedestal suggest to me that my plan will work, and I cannot jeopardize that. I am willing to allow you sanctuary in the Shadow Gallery, but I need to know that you will not influence any actions that would be of consequence," V said.

"Now V, when you say influence…" Kim started.

"Don't worry, V. We won't do anything to screw up your world and or movie." Fern said.

"We won't…but what about Freya?" Cocoa asked.

"…Who's Freya?" V asked.

"Well you see V," Fern said. "There is a slight chance that before we came to this world, a mentally unstable girl who's mission in life is to help the Chancellor may have gotten to your world first."

"I told you all this was gonna happen." Kim said. " I said that if we let Freya hang out with us, she was going to do something crazy and make it all awkward for everyone."

"Kim, you had just bought five round trip tickets to London so we could blow up Parliament."

"FOUR round trip tickets. One was one-way." Kim corrected.

"About this girl, Freya. If she were to somehow contact Sutler or Creedy, is there anything she could tell them that would reveal my plan or whereabouts?" V asked.

"No way. Freya's Bat-shit crazy." Kim said. "The only way she could get anyone to believe her would be if she actually had the DVD for your movie."

"Um…Kim?"

"Yeah Cocoa?"

"Freya DOES have the DVD for V's movie." Cocoa said. "Remember? That's why we all chased her out into the subway."

Our heroines are all silent for a moment.

"Oh the irony!!!" Fern yelled.

"You gotta understand V!" Kim said, "This isn't our fault. We tried to stop her! WE TRIED!!!"

Kim collapsed into V.

"I don't hold this against any of you." V said. "The likelihood of the DVD being preserved if Freya were black-bagged is minuscule. Even less is the chance a girl her age would be able to find the Chancellor. Nonetheless, recovering the movie and destroying it is now my top priority."

"First smart thing you've ever said." Hana complimented.

"Hana, shutup. you're ruining moving day." Kim said from V's lap.

"I gave him a compliment. You're the one who's sitting on him." Hana said. "what happened to not interfering with his world?"

"I said to the best of my abilities. I'm only human, and some things I cannot fight. Just like how I had to put toilet water in the mouthwash on Evey's shelf in the bathroom.

Evey's scream echoed throughout the Shadow Gallery.

"And now I can enjoy the rest of my day." Kim grinned.

* * *

"Author, are you honestly going to go through what every conversation between V and Evey would be like if there were four annoying girls bugging them?" Fern asked.

Probably not. At one point or another, your presence is going to be so interrupting that V and Evey will start having most of their conversations away from you. I'm also sure you'll all create new scenarios that weren't in the movie at all!

"Is that going to happen any time soon?" Cocoa asked. "Because we've already watched the movie a million times with Kim drooling over V, and it's pretty much the same thing."

We've all watched a movie with Kim drooling over V at one point of our lives. Think about it. Maybe it wasn't V, and maybe her name wasn't Kim, but we all know that girl who watches the hot guy in a movie and salivates and makes it creepy for everyone, but also funny enough for people to want to write fanfics about it. Maybe one of your friends is a Kim. Maybe…Kim is YOU.

" Is being me so bad?" Kim asked. "I've got a learners permit, a black belt in karate, and I am currently in the process of seducing the love of my life."

"I wouldn't call what you're doing a seduction process. I'd call it molestation." Fern said.

"Yeah. It's a looooong process." Kim said naughtily.

Right...so…what did you guys think of the Watchmen trailer? I thought it looked pretty good.

Everyone looks up.

"Wait a minute…you mean the trailer for Watchmen came out?!??!" Kim demanded.

…You're kidding right? Did you not see Dark Knight or go to Youtube?!

"WE'VE BEEN STUCK IN V'S WORLD THIS WHOLE TIME!!!" Kim yelled.

"Son of a bitch!!! I want to see the Watchmen trailer!!!" Fern yelled.

"Fern, you're in V's world." Cocoa said.

"So?!?" Fern demanded.

"V's world is set in the future. Don't you realize Watchmen is already out on DVD here?!?" Cocoa asked.

Fern looks at V.

"V? When you were going through that Government supply train heading to Chancellor Sutler, did you come across a Watchmen DVD?" Fern asked.

"…No…But I believe they are showing it on HBO this month…"

"To the flat-screen!" Fern screamed.

Hey, no ordering Watchmen if it costs over four dollars!

"We promise nothing!" Fern yelled back.

"What's Watchmen?" Evey asked.

"A graphic novel by Alan Moore that was adapted into a film in 2009." V replied.

"Some people believe it was Alan Moore's greatest creation," Kim said, eyeing V, " But I beg to differ."

Creepy much, Kim? Hey Evey, this is the first time we've really interacted with you in the story's conclusion. You're jut in time for us to decide how we'll knock out V!

"Author, you're still hung up on that? Just leave him alone, damnit!!!" Kim yelled.

Oh quiet, you. I just made this spinning wheel that will tell us the best way to knock V out. V, would you do us the honors?

V looks at the wheels suggestions.

"You know, kicking someone in the crotch doesn't normally knock them out," V said.

I know. That's why I'm wearing my steel-toed boot! Now spin it V! Spin it like the wheel of life! Spin it like if you didn't, Some crazy bitch was going to knock you out!

"But that's going to happen to me if I do spin it," V said.

"Fine, I'll do it!" said Hana.

Hana spins the wheel, the wheel spins off of it's Axle, and it hits V in the head and knocks it out.

"...I don't want to say anything, but the arrow on the wheel? The suggestion it landed on was 'Use The Wheel'." Fern said.

"There are no co-inky-dinks. I must act on this!" Kim said.

Oh, Kim. you and your antics. So Evey, what did you think of that? Evey?

"I'm pretty sure she left when you brought out the wheel." Cocoa said.

Damnit! you put so much effort into knocking out someone, and then the love interest escapes. Alright guys, I need to go get Evey before she gets too far. Handle the fanfic for me while I'm gone?

"I'll handle more then that!" Kim said.

Hehehehehehe. Gross. bye everybody!


	6. This Vicious Cabaret

Hey everybody!

"Author?" Cocoa asks. "You're really back?!"

Yes. I have returned from the GREAT BEYOND.

"Where was that?"

I dunno. That spot in the back of Hot Topic where the Nightmare Before Christmas merchandise and the Goth lingerie touch.

"I dislike Hot Topic," Hana says.

You dislike most things. That's your only purpose in this fanfic.

"Gah?!?" Hana gasps.

"Author, that was COLD," Fern says.

Fern, I'll tell you what's cold. You finally let a secondary character stay in the conclusion of the fanfic, and she ESCAPES. Then you gotta go outside in the middle of the night with a flashlight and creative threats and then the neighbors phone it in and the cops pick you up and charge you with quote, "_Conspiracy to commit arsine_" or something.

"That sucks. Did you ever find Evey?" Fern asks.

No, I didn't.

"Hallelujah!!!!" Kim screamed.

It's okay though. I got a plan. An elaborate one.

"What is it?" V asks.

If Evey refuses to come back, I'll blow up her home planet of Alduran.

Everyone is silent.

"Author, you're confusing V for Vendetta with Star Wars, and you're confusing Natalie Portman's character Padme with Princess Laya," Fern corrected.

…Aw, son of a _bitch_.

Evey walks out of the bathroom.

GAH?!? When the hell did you come here?!?

"Me?" Evey asked. "I've been here the whole time."

Why the hell didn't anyone tell me? I put the fanfic on hold for no reason!!!!!

"To tell you truth Author…without you here, we were having FUN!" Kim said.

WHAT?!?

"It's true," Fern said. "After V woke up from being knocked out, we all watched The Salt Flats and V showed us how to make elaborate Domino set-ups. Even Hana had fun knocking them over."

You little bitches. I made a fanfic with you in it and this is how you treat me?!?! You know what? Just because of that, I'm bringing back the Cap V in the Knee fund!!!!

"Wait," V said. "What did I do?"

Watching you suffer is the worst torment I can put them through. Now shut up all of you, so I can start this damn fanfic.

"WAIT!!!"

Suddenly from the shadows, Freya runs out!

OMG! FREYA!!! (Crap, I just said OMG. Someone please fire a cellphone through a canon at my heart.)

"Freya's back!" Screamed Cocoa.

"I haven't returned to the main story, I've come to remind you that this is _not_ merely a pointless fanfic with horny teenage girls! It does in fact have an actual plot line!"

Yeah, with a OCD teenage-villain of which we are in…Fern, what's the word you told me to use?

"Pursuit."

…Right, which we are in swimsuit of!!!!! Thank you Fern.

Freya turns to me.

"I am also here to remind the author/narrator that she has an important announcement to discuss with the readers!" Freya yells.

Oh yeah, you're right!!!! I do have something important to tell the readers!

Hana, Kim, Cocoa, Fern, V and Evey look at me.

"...And?"

...You guys aren't the readers.

"What the hell Author, you don't tell us but you tell Freya!?" Fern yells.

You get to have your secret slumber party with V and Evey, I make my own friends.

Our heroes are silent for a moment.

"You met up with Freya when the cops picked you up, didn't you?" Hana asks.

...Mehbay.

"Well, are you going to tell the readers NOW?" Hana asks.

Heavens no! We must wait till the end of the chapter to build incentive!!!

"but I thought shooting V at the end of the chapter was to build incentive." Cocoa says.

Want me to shoot V now? HUH?!?

....

That's what I thought. Now lets fire it up!

**V for Vendetta: Chapter VI**

We meet our Heroes walking into the main room of the Shadow Gallery, where V and Evey are sitting watching TV.

"Did you like it?" V asks Evey.

"Yeah. But it made me feel sorry for Mercedes," Evey says.

"Why?" V asks.

"Because he cared more about revenge then he did for her," she says sadly.

"HELL NO!!!" Kim screams. "WE MISSED THE SWORD FIGHTING SCENE!"

"Son of a bitch!!!" Fern yells.

Kim turns around and slaps Hana.

"This is all your fault for stalling up in the bathroom!" Kim hisses.

Cocoa starts crying.

"Jesus Christ, you weirdos. You've seen the movie a million times, why does missing this one part make a difference?" Hana yells.

"Because, Hana. That scene was one of the highlights of the movie. It's the only time V ever wears that shirt with the poofy sleeves! we're never gonna get to see V wear that shirt again!" Fern yelled.

"Now we're going to have to wait a whole other year so we can come back and see that scene!" Kim yells.

"Um...Kim, the worm hole doesn't work like that. It goes to a different part of V's time line every time." Cocoa says.

"And we're NOT coming back here again." Hana says.

"You mean _you're _not." Kim mumbles as she sits down next to V.

V and Evey both stare at Kim.

"What?" Kim asks.

The movie flicks off and goes to the news. V lifts a hand to turn off the tv.

"Hey, wait a minute..." Fern says.

"And in other news," the anchorwoman says. "A group of students were black-bagged today after black shirts with red V's were found in their lockers. "

"That's not right," Cocoa says.

"What's that?" V asks.

"She's suppose to be announcing Lewis Prothero's death..." Fern mumbles.

"Lewis Prothero? He's dead?" Evey asks.

"I don't know, ask V." Fern shrugs.

Evey turns to V and raises an eyebrow.

"V?"

"To the best of my knowledge, no," V states.

"Why didn't you kill Prothero? You were supposed to waste his fat ass," Kim says.

"...I told all of you, recovering the DVD from your world was my top priority. Any prior engagements have been temporarily postponed." V says.

Evey looks at V.

"V, you aren't...seriously suggesting you were _going_ to kill Lewis Prothero, are you?" she asks.

"Oh no," V says. "I am _going_ to kill him tonight."

Evey stands up.

"You're upset," V observes.

"I'm upset? You just told me you're going to kill Lewis Porthero!"

"Ha, I get it," Cocoa says. "It's like in the movie, only in a different grammatical tense."

Evey looks at Hana, Kim, Cocoa and Fern.

"And you all knew about this?" she asks.

"Evey, with all due respect.... Lewis Prothero is a total fat-blob douche tool." Fern says.

"Lewis Prothero is the voice of London!" Evey cries. "what could killing him accomplish other than retaliation?!"

"I'd imagine that the Government will do anything they can in their power to make his death look accidental. A health failure, Perhaps." V says.

"Maybe, Evey, just maybe—if that douche is gone, people will stop thinking what he thinks and start thinking what THEY think." Cocoa theorizes.

"My sentiments exactly," V nods.

"...And are you going to kill more people?" Evey asks.

"Yes," V says.

Evey stares at him for a moment.

"I'm going to go lay down," she says, walking away.

When Evey is out of earshot, V turns to Kim.

"Now that she's gone, I have something I need to ask all of you," V says quietly.

Kim leans on V.

"Go onnnnn....." Kim says.

V hands Kim the DVD.

"Can you confirm this is the DVD Freya had?" V asks.

Fern takes the DVD.

"Dayum, V. That was quick. How did you get it?" she asks.

"I intercepted Chancellor Sutler's mail. This Freya is smart enough not to approach him directly. Even though she no longer has the DVD, she may hold the capacity to be a legitimate threat." V says.

"That's what our principle said when Freya stole the net of dodgeballs and climbed on top of the gym roof," Hana says.

"We didn't have PE class for three days..." Cocoa elaborates.

V opens up the case and looks at the DVD.

"So....are we going to watch it, or what?" Kim asks.

"We are going to destroy it," V says.

"Come again?"

V walks across the floor and throws the DVD case into the fire.

"Oh what the hell, man?!?" Fern yells. "I don't ruin YOUR stuff!"

V looks over to his Juke Box, which has several knives lodged in it.

"Okay, well...that was an accident..."

"Hey," interrupts Cocoa. "Does anyone remember there being a fireplace in the Shadow Gallery?"

"Huh. You know, I don't remember seeing one," Kim says.

"Well to be fair, they only show this room a few times, and only from certain angles..." says Fern.

"Maybe we should watch the movie again and see if it's in there," Cocoa suggests.

"Great idea...except V is BURNING THE MOVIE!" Fern screams.

"Well then, I guess he does have a fire place!!!" Cocoa yells.

Fern and Cocoa start fighting like bitches. Kim walks over to V and watches the DVD burn.

"Hey, is it just me...or does it look like the slot for the second disk is empty?" Kim asks.

Everyone stops fighting and gathers around the fire.

"you know...it looks like it," Cocoa says.

"This could pose a problem," V notes.

Our heroes are all silent.

"...Wait," Fern mumbles. "Weren't we watching the second disk at Hana's house before we came here?"

"I thought we were watching Lost," Cocoa says.

"I feel like we were watching Lost, too," Kim agrees.

"Yeah, but did we put the V for Vendetta bonus disk back in the case before Freya stole it?" Fern asks.

"I might have just put it in the Lost case because I had it out," Kim says.

"I though we returned Lost to the library!" Cocoa yells.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Hana yells.

Everyone looks at Hana.

"...Did we remember to return Pluto Nash?" she asks.

Our heroes start to debate this, but then they turn to V and see that he's standing there with his arms folded. Shutup you guys.

"As a precaution, I'd appreciate it if over the next few days, you would all see to it that any paraphernalia of my movie you have were to be destroyed," V said simply.

Cocoa, Fern, and Kim look at each other.

"Out of curiosity, does that include undergarments?" Kim asks.

Everyone looks at Kim.

"Kim," Fern says. "Is that you're way of telling us you're wearing V for Vendetta undergarments?"

Kim grins.

"Only one way to find out," Kim says, scooting closer to V.

"And Kim was doing such a good job at not being a pervert today," Cocoa sighs.

"Cocoa, I'm ALWAYS being a pervert. It's just sometimes it's in thought instead of action."

Kim stares at V and arches her eyebrows in a sexy way. V takes a step back.

"Kim, I'd hate to break it to you.... but the only chance you would ever have with V would be if when we get out of here, we somehow get on ANOTHER train that takes us to the world of the V for Vendetta Comedy Series. And that's ONLY because that version of V has been dubbed over vulgarly by some Youtube guy." Fern said.

"Well, we're gonna be stuck in this world for a whole year, so I might as well get a few tries in!" Kim said

"Jesus Christ Kim, have some damn dignity." Fern yelled. "you're not even sixteen yet, and V's probably in his forties! That is wrong on so many levels."

"Yeah. Under-aged much?" Hana snarked.

Kim ponders this for a moment.

"Can we follow a sort of "what happens in V's House stays in V's House" attitude?" She asks.

"No, Kim. No we can not," Fern says.

"I'm still gonna." Kim mumbles.

"What the hell makes you so much better then all the rest of us V for vendetta fan girls?" Fern demands.

"Well for one, I read the graphic novel first," Kim listed. "…two, I have a black belt in karate…and three: I'm not a just one of those phantom of the opera lovers who climbed on the hot guy in a mask bandwagon. V could kick Gerald Butlers' fat ass any day off the week. Literally and musically."

Shut up Kim. You're insulting a giant portion of my audience.

"They insult themselves with their taste of movies!" Kim screamed.

As everyone begins to debate this, Evey walks back into the room and over to V.

"Where is it?" she asks.

"Where's what?" V asks.

"V, don't lie to me. I thought I had lost my ID yesterday when I couldn't find it, now I see what's going on. You're going to use it to get to Prothero. That's it, isn't it?" Evey asks.

V nods.

"I'm not going to let you do that, V." Evey said, sticking out her hand. "Give it back."

Kim, Fern, and Cocoa all stare at Evey.

"Bitch, are you serious? Are you SERIOUS?" Kim asks. "This guy could kill you _like that_. Are you really,"—

Before Kim can complete her rant, V hands Evey her BTN card.

"Oh, what the hell man?" Fern yells.

"Why are you giving it to her?!?" Kim demands.

"Evey," Fern says, "Think about what you're doing. You're messing with the plot."

"I've thought about what I'm doing. I'm not letting V kill someone, least of all under MY name." she says.

"I may have killed the Finger Men that attacked you, but I heard no objection there," V notes.

"What?" Evey asks.

"Violence _can_ be used for good."

"Sounds like something the Chancellor would say. Or Creedy," Evey says with disgust.

V tilts back his head.

"Are you saying you disapprove of their actions?" V asks.

Fern, Cocoa, and Kim all glance back at Evey.

"Sounds like something V would do..." Cocoa says.

Evey looks away, grabs her card, and walks out of the room. Our heroes are silent.

"Well, that sucks," Fern says.

"It's cool, V. We'll wait until she's asleep and then we'll go through all her things and take back the card," Kim says.

"Kim, the last time you did that, she could tell." Hana points out.

"Well, maybe I'll put her stuff back this time. And not write menacing threats on her on her sheets. And not cut holes in her clothes or put her hand in a bowl of water..."

Cocoa looks over to V, who is staring blankly into the fireplace.

"V?" Cocoa asks. "What's up?"

"I'm thinking," V replies softly.

Kim looks up.

"About?"

V sighs.

"It's already happening. Your presence in this world has already altered the course of our timeline. I was meant to kill Prothero yesterday night. I had planned on it," V sighs.

"V, c'mon. We'll get Evey's card back somehow,"—

"I appreciate your concern, but I already took precaution and made a duplicate. I have the original, I gave Evey the fake."

V sits down.

"But that's not what worries me," V continues. "Simple alterations like this are bound to have consequences. I fear sooner or later, something is going to produce a butterfly effect that not even I will be able to correct."

"Like that awful move with Ashton Kutcher?" Hana asks.

Shut up Hana. Serious moment.

"V, even IF you fail, that's not gonna matter as long as we get back to our world," Cocoa says. "Your timeline will reset and everything will go back to the way it's meant to."

"Who's to say the timeline will reset if I fail?" V asks.

Cocoa widens her eyes.

"Ooooh." she says.

"So V, what you're saying is that the simple act of us being here in the house, eating your toast and breaking your stuff could be enough to screw up your entire plan and throw your whole universe out of whack?" Fern asks.

"In all honesty, it could be," V says.

"...So does that mean it's a bad time to mention we wrecked your Jan Van Eyck painting when we were playing dagger darts?" Hana asks.

V stands up.

"There is no certainty. Only opportunity," he says, picking up his cape.

"Where are you going?" Kim asks.

"To pay Prothero a little visit," V says. "He's been waiting long enough."

"Can we come?"

The door slams shut and locks.

"Guess not." Fern shrugs.

"This. Sucks. So. Much." Hana says. "I'm so bored of all this pointless interaction."

"Hana, if you're gonna be a Buzz Killington for everyone, you can just go," Fern huffed.

"Dude, you don't think I've tried? I've opened every door to this place at least three times. They are all rooms and closets. That door V walked out is just a big maze of other doors." Hana said, slinking back into her seat.

"I know the way out," Kim says.

Cocoa, Fern, and Hana look at Kim.

"...Come again?"

"I know how to get out." Kim repeated.

"You know the door that leads out of here?" Cocoa asks.

"No. But I know which door is to the lift on the roof and I know which door is to the closet where V keeps his grappling hooks and ropes." Kim says.

"...How do you know these things?" Fern asks.

"V and I play the shadow game a lot. He is yet to reciprocate, however."

"So you've known how to escape this whole week and you didn't tell me?" Hana demands. "Why is this the first time you're bringing it up?!"

"Because I don't want to escape. Not for good," Kim says. "V isn't the only one one step ahead of the game."

Kim pulls out Evey's duplicated ID.

* * *

Well, that about wraps it up for now!

"That was a pretty good point to end it, Author. But how did Kim get Evey's ID?" Fern asks.

"I'm good at grabbing things as people walk by," Kim shrugs.

Cocoa high fives Kim.

Yes, yes, we get it….now to break back into the cap V in the knee fund!

Our heroes scream in protest as I take out my sniper rifle and load it. Shutup, or all cap all of ya'll.

"Is that a new gun, Author?" V asks.

Why yes it is, V. I got it over the weekend.

"Why is it that frigin fireworks are illegal, but our underage author can pick up a gun at Wal*mart?" Kim asked.

"Kim, fireworks aren't illegal. The guy just refused to sell them to you." Fern points out.

"Oh riiiight." Kim says. "'Cuz I was gonna do some elaborate tribute to V for Vendetta, right?"

"That would be it."

Well, as interesting as this conversation is, it's time for me to plant some lead in V's knee.

"You know Author, in the two plus years you've been writing this fanfic, I don't remember you once shooting V," Cocoa says.

Whoa. This fanfic has been going on for two whole years?

"Um, yeah." Hana says. "Maybe you wouldn't notice, since you've only put up five chapters!"

...Are you implying I'm lazy or something?

"Author, it's been practically a year since you updated the fanfic. And then you pull something as cheap like updating on the fifth of November?" Fern asks.

Hana looks at her watch.

"It's not even the fifth anymore! It's the sixth!" She exclaims.

Hey, shutup! It's still the fifth where I am. Sort of. I wrote it all on the fifth!

"Where are you, Hawaii or something?" Cocoa asks.

Yes, but that's not important. Now, everyone, be quiet so I can finally cap V in the knee!

"WAIT!"

Freya jumps out from the shadows again.

"REMINDER!" Freya scream, pointing at me.

Oh, yeah!

So check this out, readers! I've decided to turn this fanfiction into a fanfaction!

Everyone is silent.

"Huh?" Cocoa says.

Well, it's been floating around in my head for a while and it may take me a bit to tap into, but I have decided that I want to use you guys in an actual storyline one day. Like, a comic book or a graphic novel or something.

"Wait, us? In a graphic novel???" Fern asks.

Fern, if you know anything about me, you know I write two kinds of stories. The first ones are action/ sci-fi or supernatural dramas, and the second ones are comedies that mask my commentary on minor social issues and popular culture. And since keeping my complex robot's anatomy consistent panel to panel is a feat my artistic talents have not reached, you guys have become the simplest thing to write and draw for.

That's right, kids. Mediocrity: it will get you there.

"You mean...you're gonna let us out of this fanfic hell?" Kim demands.

Thasright.

Kim hugs V.

"We did it, baby! We made it through the rain!!!" She cries.

V, Evey, Fern, Cocoa, and Hana exchange glances and look at me.

Yeah, Kim....about that.....V's not gonna be in it.

"Wut?!?" Kim demands.

Yeah, there's this little thing called "Copyright," So when you guys leave the fanfic, you leave V behind with it.

Kim sits down on the ground and hugs V's ankles.

"But...But I don't want to leave him...."

Oh shutup Kim. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to think of a way to knock V out before we end the fanfic.

"What happened to capping him in the knee?" Hana asks.

Does that knock people out? I thought it just made them bleed and poo themselves.

"One way to find out," Freya says.

Freya yanks the gun out of my hand and shoots V.

HOLEY SHIT BALLS!

V looks down and falls.

"See?" Freya says. "It works."

"Freya, since when are vital organs someone's FUCKING KNEE CAPS?!?!?" Kim demands.

"I don't know. Since when do I know how to point a gun?" Freya asks.

"Yeah, NOW you can't point a gun. But when it comes down time to paint ball, you're some frigin gorilla..." Hana mumbles.

Um...should we do something? About V's exposed rib cage and...whatever organ that used to be?

A blood splattered Fern looks over at me.

"I think it's important that we do." she says.

Well guys, looks like I gotta cut my ramblings short. If you want to learn more about My Idiots and the new world they will be invading one day, check out my profile! It's good to be back!

Now, I only hope we can keep V's intestine in until we get to the hospital...

"I'M ON IT!!!" Kim yells.

"Help...me..." V mumbles.

See ya!

**Author's Note: There are probably a lot of mistakes, but I want to update ASAP and I'm too frigin tired to correct. Will correct when I can. **


End file.
